“Rejection is the sand in the oyster, the irritation that ultimately produces the pearl.” – Burke Wilkinson
“No” is a very difficult word to hear and the fear of rejection can be a powerful barrier that limits us greatly.
But imagine being immune to what others say or think about you… or imagine having the courage to try new things, even when you know you’ll fail…
I believe that your perspective has the power to change how you show up in the world so you can get past rejection and have more freedom to conquer your greatest fears and achieve your biggest dreams. My intention for this post is to help you see rejection as a blessing.
We’ve all been rejected in some way, shape or form and at some point in our lives. But sadly, if you don’t overcome it, you’re left to bear a huge weight to carry everywhere you go.
Recently, I experienced rejection and found myself feeling alone, worthless and questioning my value in my business.
I wondered if I was even meant to do this? The imposter in me felt unapologetically exposed.
After a (dream) client I had been working with decided not to renew her contract with me—aka politely firing me as her VA—deeply ingrained feelings of rejection rushed to the surface.
I was bombarded with thoughts of “there must be something wrong with me”…”I’m not good enough”.
I made mental notes of the things I “could’ve” and “should’ve” done differently to prevent this from happening.
We had worked so well together, she seemed so happy and she’d even suggested plans on how to grow her business…together.
What went wrong? What did I do wrong?
At the time I couldn’t see how this rejection was the redirection I needed to guide me back to the path that was right for me—a better path aligned with my highest self and truest desires.
After a few days of allowing myself to feel my feelings of the immense pain I felt from the perceived rejection, ALL became clear.
I was on the wrong path, to begin with.
I was misaligned with my deepest desires and intentions.
I relied on cookie-cutter formulas to get my client’s results rather than trusting my inner guidance.
I was living in the shadows of my true calling by playing safe working behind-the-scenes in someone else’s business—making their dream happen while neglecting my own.
What I wanted (and had been resisting for years) was to claim my power, put myself out there and take the front stage in my own business and life.
While I enjoyed working as a VA, it was only meant to be temporary. If this dream client said she wanted to continue working together I would’ve kept going which would’ve meant prolonged denial of the true path I’m meant to take.
It was time to stop living someone else’s dream and start creating my own.
5 reframes to help you get past rejection and have more freedom to achieve your biggest dreams
I see that a lot of my feelings about rejection have to do with open childhood wounds that have yet to be resolved and I recognize this pattern within myself.
However, I truly believe that by reframing rejection and seeing it through a lens of gratitude—things that once seemed dark and hopeless can be transformed into opportunities that keep you moving forward rather than stuck in a comfortable rut.
1/ Not every path is right for you
If you’ve been rejected by someone or you’re feeling pangs of depression because something you greatly desire didn’t work out, perhaps it wasn’t a good fit for you and trust that a new path will emerge once you take steps in the direction that you want to go.
Your rejection is an invitation to reframe what may have seemed like a good thing and turn it into an opportunity to ask for what you truly want.
When you think about your situation are you saying to yourself…”it’s good enough so why change it?”.
This may be the shift you need to redirect you from a path of “good enough” to fully aligned with your vision and the desires of your heart.
2/ Something better awaits
It’s easy to think that when one door closes, that’s it!
If you’re stuck because a door has just been closed in your face—aka there’s no other client, job, opportunity or partner out there for you when the truth is—when one door closes there’s always another door to open—it’s either there and you can’t see it or it’s on its way!
Trust that something better awaits and it’ll come to you when you’re ready for it.
3/ The timing isn’t right
Maybe you keep running into roadblocks at every possible turn or endeavour you take on and you’re losing hope but sometimes it simply means that the timing just isn’t right.
- Do you need to learn a new skill or gain more life experience before it’s right for you?
- Are you prepared for this opportunity or do you need more time to sow your seeds?
- Do you have the energy and space for it in your life or are there more pressing priorities you need to focus on first?
If what you want is in alignment with your highest self and vision, then trust it’ll show up in perfect and Divine timing.
4/ They’re not your people
Social rejection can feel downright awful whether it’s from people you know or strangers on the internet. But remember —don’t waste your time and energy on people that are not your people—reserve your time and energy for the ones who are.
Whenever I go live on Facebook, I see a couple of people who turn notifications from me off which is saying, “I don’t want to hear from you” but guess what, I don’t waste a second worrying about it because I’m not speaking to those people and I’m not trying to convert anyone with my message.
If you’re reading this now and nodding your head in agreement because you relate to what I’m saying, you’re my people. You’re exactly the person I want to connect with.
The irony is, the more you show up as your authentic self, the more rejection you’re likely to experience, but on the flip side, you’ll also attract more of the right people—people who are magnetized by you and what you have to offer.
5/ Your rejection is protecting you
You might have heard the expression: rejection is protection.
Maybe it’s hard to see it or feel it right now but your rejection could be protecting you from a bad person or toxic situation that would have led to deep dissatisfaction in your life. Your rejection is, in fact, protecting you against something that wouldn’t be good for you.
How amazing is that?
You’ve got a choice…you can choose how you react when you’re rejected by someone or something.
Will you let it stop you from reaching your goals and dreams or will you choose to reframe it and allow it to propel you forward in full alignment with your highest self.
Rejection is a growth tool that we can learn to embrace and see as a necessary part of our evolution rather than internalizing it and seeing it as a negative which will only bring you down.
When you can move past the fear of rejection you’re rewarded with the freedom to be who you truly are.
Think about an area of your life over the past week, 6 weeks or 6 months where you’ve felt rejected and questioning your worthiness then yourself Leave a comment below and tell me:
- How might your rejection be your protection?
- hHw could it be redirecting you towards a new path?
It’s easy to wallow in your sorrow and think, I’m not good enough or I’m not valued/loved/worthy but to get past rejection, you must reframe it transforming it to deep gratitude because you’re being guided to a new path—one that’s perfect for YOU.
Prefer to watch? Catch the replay on FB live.
Reframing rejection so you can have more freedom to conquer your biggest fears and achieve your biggest dreams.How might your rejection be your protection? Or how could it be redirecting you towards a new path?Tune in and comment below!Prefer to read? You can read the blog post here: https://kristabauer.com/blog/get-past-rejection/
Posted by Krista Bauer, Soulful Business Coach on Tuesday, January 7, 2020