5 tips when you’re afraid to put yourself out there

by | Jan 28, 2020 | Biz Growth | 0 comments

Does the fear of putting yourself out there stop you from achieving your biggest dreams or getting what you want in your life or business?

Are you afraid to put yourself out there even when you know it’s for your higher good and needed for your growth?

In today’s post, I’m giving you 5 tips to help you overcome the fear of being seen so you can attract a wider audience, share your message with the world and take things to the next level in your life and business.

Whether you want to step up and put yourself out there so you can reach a wider audience with your message, attract more clients in your business or find the partner of your dreams… You’ve been feeling the call to step outside your comfort zone for some time because you know it’ll change your life and business in a big way.

But the thought of doing it is scary and daunting, right? 

I know because I hid behind my fears for years terrified of being seen. 

I knew I needed to put myself out there by sharing more vulnerable content (like my failures, my deepest fears and regrets, challenges I’m working through, etc.) and I knew that if I really wanted to be seen and heard by my audience than one day, I was going to have to face my fears of getting on camera and sharing my message through live video…eeeek! 

It took me years to put myself out there because I feared rejection and judgement from others.

But what I’ve learned is that putting yourself out there is essential if you want to grow your business and attract authentic people who love what you do and are genuinely happy to have found you.

You need to be seen to get clients. Client needs to know you exist. 

When you put yourself out there it gives the world an opportunity to learn your perspective, hear your voice and to see you as your beautiful authentic self which is what your true fans and clients crave. They’ve been waiting for someone like you, but when you hide, you’re depriving them of living their best life, too. 

Even if you’re thinking, I have nothing new to say or it’s already been done before, it’s okay because it’s never been done YOUR way.

No one has your voice.

Your life experiences. 

Your unique perspective on life, business or whatever industry or niche you’re in. 

When you put yourself out there, you’ll learn that the critics are the minority—the majority of people will love and support you. 

People want you to succeed.

You’ll learn that your biggest critic is YOU. 

Let’s dive in, shall we?

1. Start small

You don’t need to start with the biggest, scariest thing… 

Build your “visibility” muscle by gradually working your way up the bigger things.

For example, if you would’ve asked me 5 years ago to hop on video and put myself out there in public, it wouldn’t have happened. I started with sharing my voice through blogging and even then,  it took me 6 months to publish my first post because I was so worried about what others would think and was scared to put the real me out there.

Step-by-step I kept stretching myself and eventually started sharing my beliefs and perspectives on social media until I got comfortable with being vulnerable online. I knew the next step was to get seen on video but the thought of that made me want to throw up so I started by creating short how-to videos for my clients and people who were already supportive of the work I was doing.

Once I was comfortable with getting on camera for people who knew me, I then graduated to pre-recorded videos for the public before I built the courage to do them live. 

If your dream is to be a public speaker, you don’t need to go from point A to F (aka going from live talks in your living to speaking on a stage of thousands) unless of course, you want to rip the Band-Aid off…which of course…more power to you but for the rest of us, small, gradual steps is all it takes. 

The more you put yourself out there, the more you’ll expand and grow which creates a greater capacity within yourself to step into new areas that have never seemed possible before. 

Take action: what’s one small thing you can do today to stretch you beyond your comfort zone and put yourself out there?

2. Do it imperfectly

As a recovering perfectionist and over-achiever, admittedly, I’m still learning this one. 

The point is if you wait until you’re ready to do it perfectly then you’re waiting too long.

You’ve got to put yourself out there knowing that it’s not going to be perfect, yet.

Accept that your work will be subpar for now but know that the only way to get better is to put your imperfect work out into the world first and refine it as you go. 

If you ask anyone who seems super confident on camera or anyone who has a stunning website for their business, ask them about the first time they launched or went live…they’ll all say, it’s terrible or cringe-worthy and would probably be too embarrassed to show you.

You won’t get comfortable on camera or better at dating or become a better writer by thinking about it or watching other people do it. You’ve got to start before you feel ready.

3. Accept that fear is part of the process

No one wants to put themselves out there on a public stage to be criticized, judged or rejected by others, I don’t care if you’re Beyonce or Oprah, when you’re stretching outside of your comfort zone, fear is a fundamental part of the process.

It’s a sign and an indicator that lets you know…”hey, I’m growing!”

Embrace the fear and recognize that it means you’re challenging yourself in new ways and that’s a feeling worth celebrating!

4. Focus on your higher service

In other words, focus on why you’re doing this. 

For example, when I was just starting out with video (which wasn’t that long ago), I worried a lot about things like my hair and facial expressions. Do I sound stupid or nervous? 

I was stuck in my own head and focusing on “me” rather than simply sharing my message from a place of service. When I shift the focus from myself to my higher good then I have more freedom to show up as my imperfect self knowing that I’m putting myself out there with the highest intentions and as my highest self which is my only purpose. 

5. Disengage from attachment

I think this is the hardest one to do because as humans we wish we could control the outcome or the behaviour of others or how others perceive us. 

Wouldn’t it be nice if you summoned the courage to put yourself out there and everyone reacted favourably and told you how amazing you are? 

That’s just not how it works. When you put yourself out there, there’s a certain level of risk that comes with that. 

Sure, you could fail…

  • people could leave you nasty comments on your post
  • you might freeze in front of a live audience
  • the man of your dreams isn’t interested in you, or
  • you might stumble your way through an entire presentation

…but that’s not what matters. 

The important thing is to know that whatever happens is perfect for you even if you fail or others criticize you. It’s exactly what you need at this time on your journey so use it as fuel to propel you forward and to improve.

There’s ALWAYS next time. 

Now I want to hear from you, leave a comment below and tell me:

How would your life or business change if you had the courage to put yourself out there and step up in a bigger way?

Remember that getting your work into the world is sacred… needed…and… so so important. Don’t deprive us of your gifts, the world depends on them.

Krista, a middle-aged half-white woman looking pensive as she gazes to the right with a beautiful floral graphic behind her


An ENFP. Aries sun. Libra Moon. Cancer Rising. I’m also a mom of two who’s been building her business between nap schedules and snack breaks for the past 5 years.

I help fellow coaches and healers refine their online presence so it reflects their values and resonates with their ideal audience (NOT push for sales). Read my story here.



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